They Don't Print This on Sorority T-shirts

A few years ago I was writing a book. This book was a non-fiction, story-laden exploration of the post-21st-year-of-life set - their (my) immature, dependent and bumbling attempt at living outside the bubble of college and the shell of childhood. It, like so many post-collegiate dreams was put on hold. The first hold because I was just having too much damn fun living that life and the second because I began growing out of it and no longer thought I had time to explain it.

Again, like so many bubbly dreams, I aimed to pick it back up this winter break (six weeks of no classes and three weeks of low-key work). I also thought I would do some pre-work for my stats class. Can you guess which I did? If you guessed "ate cheese ball and read fantasy novels," you would be correct. I hope to get back to it one day, and yes, I do realize that I was rather free (unemployed) for three and a half months earlier this year.

Why all that blathering of unrealized goals? Well, I have been thinking a great deal about the evolution and percolation of friendships. The book was heavily focused on the relationships I had with my girlfriends. In fact, much was dedicated to the realization that at some points in my life, they, for better or worse, represented everything important to me. It was very difficult to picture a life that didn't involve at least three weekends per month of 48-hours' constant contact and a part-time job comprised of dissecting drama (in my case, it was usually my own, self-inflicted variety).

Mistake me not, these people are still essential to my life, utterly irreplaceable, but somewhere along the way, my dependency on faded from north-star caliber to a healthy just-came-in-from-the-cold-rosy-glow. Among finding a career, a sense of self (+ esteem), a love and a desire to be alone every now and again, I became a less-clingy version of myself. In many ways, we all have. In no way does this mean they are less a part of my life, or me theirs - you might say we've diversified our portfolios. It doesn't diminish the value of friendship or the love felt, just presents a means of appreciating what has always existed in new ways.

As with most people who have a (insert "hard time" cliche here), I experienced that there are levels of depth to certain friendships that I had forgotten were there, and I also figured out that some of the ones that I thought were deepest were actually just me standing alone in a dried-up well. Then, once you get (insert "back on your feet" cliche here), the shared joy of your friends means just as much, if not more, as the daily calls to make sure you did follow through with the goal of getting out of bed by 10 a.m. and not cracking a beer until noon.

And the really cool thing is how as my girlfriends have become busier, older, wiser, they've become more interesting - two-hour dinners are as bonding as the 48-hour bender/hangover/movie/bender cycles were. I have always known and believed in the spherical nature of friendships (it was just harder to be friends with me when I took everything personally - ahem, crybaby), but at this point, it's a fascinating case study in what you knew would always be true and what you know is true.

Self-indulgent post? Absolutely. But also a thank you to my friends for who you were then and who you are now.